I’m guilty of playing the time traveler. I imagine and plan my future and get anxious about it. I replay good and bad parts about my past, and get anxious about it.
When I travel around like this, my mind is falsely occupied. It feels like it has to solve these problems - to interpret the past and prepare for the future. I’m too busy to worry about the present right now.
"THERE ARE DIFFERENT SPECIES OF LAZINESS: EASTERN AND WESTERN. THE EASTERN STYLE IS LIKE THE ONE PRACTICED IN INDIA. IT CONSISTS OF HANGING OUT ALL DAY IN THE SUN, DOING NOTHING, AVOIDING ANY KIND OF WORK OR USEFUL ACTIVITY, DRINKING CUPS OF TEA, LISTENING TO HINDI FILM MUSIC BLARING ON THE RADIO, AND GOSSIPING WITH FRIENDS. WESTERN LAZINESS IS QUITE DIFFERENT. IT CONSISTS OF CRAMMING OUR LIVES WITH COMPULSIVE ACTIVITY, SO THERE IS NO TIME AT ALL TO CONFRONT THE REAL ISSUES. THIS FORM OF LAZINESS LIES IN OUR FAILURE TO CHOOSE WORTHWHILE APPLICATIONS FOR OUR ENERGY. "
- Sogyal Rinpoche
Despite being successful at doing the work I want to do, I know that these thoughts never go away. I will be quick to call bullshit on anyone that doesn’t feel anxious about their work life.
Bullshit on people that say they flawlessly spits out writing, photos, videos, designs without an ounce of hesitation, or desire to keep working on it until it’s “perfect”.
It comes with the territory.
I’ve been cranking out work for 21 days straight. I even wrote about it in a recent post. It really had less to do with the output and more to do with the combating creative “blocks”. But I’m exhausted.
Last week, I decided to limit my work to weekdays and take some breaks on the weekends. Other than writing this Newsletter, weekends are mine.
Despite my tight deadlines coming up, I know that always being on is just as bad as always being off.
We all need to get some Vitamin C, but taking too much will give you poisoning and violent diarrhea. (Sorry)
The guilt trip of not doing work will creep up. I wonder if I’m working as hard as I can. I mentally compare myself to other people in my field. I think they’re brilliant machines that run uninterrupted 24/7.
I need to catch up.
Logically this isn’t true, but this doesn’t stop me from thinking about it.
The question I have to remind myself to ask isn’t if I’m working hard enough, but if I’m working smart enough.
And sometimes working smart means not working at all.